Saturday

I was going to post yesterday but I was so blasted tired that I blew it off...So, I am getting back on track today.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving, I know I sure did....but. (I'll get to that in a second)

TM update...not sure what's going on...but the pain in my backside and the tops of the back of my legs is intensifying. The area right at my tailbone feels as though it is on fire. The pain meds I've been taking are either not working as they had or the pain is in fact getting worse, I'm not sure. I would say, on the scale that the docs and nurses always ask...on a scale of 1 - 10... Before probably a 5...yesterday and today were looking at a 7 or 8.
Either way, I can still deal with the pain...it is not at a point where it's totally unbearable. As I've said before, I have a very high tolerance for pain so I guess in a way I am lucky. It's just that this pain is so damn annoying...especially where it is. Sitting is a pain..(lol...literally) as I have to switch back and forth from one butt cheek to the other. When I lay down it's not so bad, I guess because all my weight isn't right on those areas. It is more comfortable to sleep on my sides though.

Alright..back to Thanksgiving...It was a very nice day...all the smells and such floating around the house..
Turkey went in the oven about 10:00am and then things really started smelling good. We wanted to eat about 4:00pm...and we were having a few people come over to the house.
About 4ish they started arriving...My wife's son, his girlfriend and little boy, My wife's daughter and her boyfriend and a few of her friends. One of them is a guy that we have known for a number of years and he is currently in the Army and just got back from Iraq. He is home on leave and is getting married next month.
Anyway...total of about 15 people including the younger kids. We did dinner buffett style because our table is nowhere big enough to seat everyone.

I carved up the turkey and we layed everything out on the dining room table and then people started cycling through filling their plates. I also filled myself a heaping plate of all the fixins and ate and then found a few more that I didn't have the first go 'round.

Anyway...about this time with all the people up and about and all the talking and moving around and such...I found myself starting to get really overwhelmed. Literally, I was getting very uncomfortable...and I think with that many people...the temperature in the house was getting warmer...and I started sweating like a fool. I had sweat running down the sides of my face.
My wife I think could tell that something wasn't right so she told me to go up to the bedroom and lay down, which I did. I just felt really strange...but after laying down for awhile I did start to cool down and felt better but I didn't go back downstairs. It was a very strange experience..I've never had anything like that happen before...
I know the getting overheated is because of the TM...but the feeling of being so overwhelmed was a new feeling. I don't know where that came from...

Yesterday I felt totally exhausted...like I hadn't slept in a couple of days...and my legs felt especially achy.

Anyway...with that aside...Thanksgiving was wonderful as are all the leftovers...(yummmm)
Right now I'm in the process of boiling down the rest of the turkey carcass and all the broth. It is going to make some awesome Turkey Noodle soup...(yummmmm again)

Today...I'm feeling pretty good considering the pain. I slept pretty decent last night and it's not so cold outside so my legs don't have that achy feeling so much today.

Okay now....another request from my Sis....
She is looking for One Tin Soldier...
A late 60's anti-war song from the Canadian group, Original Caste.
This song was covered by a group called Coven and also used as part of the soundtrack to the movie "Billy Jack".
I am kind of partial to the original recording though...So sis, I hope you don't mind...but I am posting the original by Original Caste.


Now, what else can I find to post here....
I know....a song that's been covered by so many bands and artists that's it's probably easier to name the ones that haven't covered it than it is to name the ones that have.
A song originally released back in 1939...yep...1939. It's an oldie but a goodie.
On YouTube I can find many versions of the song...and all of them are good in their own right...but there is one version that truly stands out above all the rest.
Why..? Because this version highlights the sweet, smoky, sultry sound of the Tenor Sax...which compliments this song fantastically...The group is The Viscounts and
the song... Harlem Nocturne.
Enjoy..


Till Next Time..........

Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving everyone...!!

I hope today is a wonderful day for all...

I will return to regular postings tomorrow...

Till Next Time.................

Wednesday....Hump Day

The day before Thanksgiving.
Quick update and then on to some pictures and music..

Woke up again at 3:00am. That must be the magical hour lately. I had to go to the bathroom. At least this morning the dog didn't need to go out. I don't think she even heard me get up to go.

I crawled back in bed...I was bound and determined to try and get back to sleep. I know I was awake for about a half an hour and then I did go back to sleep but it wasn't a good sleep. I remember looking at the clock and it was 4:45am and then at 5:10am and then by 5:45am both my wife and I were awake. Other than being a bit tired I feel fairly good today. Legs are pretty good..a bit of an ache in my left one...also a bit of pain in the backside..

Okay, with that aside...We had some snow last night, not a ton..probably about 2".
It's a wet, heavy snow...the kind that sticks to everything. But it sure is pretty...all the tree branches are coated and it looks kind of like what I would think the cliche.."Winter Wonderland" would look like.
Check it out....I just took these about 8:30 this morning.




That looks pretty nice, doesn't it..? I know we didn't get anywhere near as much as the folks further north did...I saw on the news this morning..some areas received 15"+.
We're pretty lucky here in our area...we're just south of the snow belt.

Anyway, on to the music now...I got a comment from my Sis again ..She wants to hear..
"My Boyfriend Got A Beatle Haircut"
I found the song sis...but I do believe it was done by Donna Lynn.
I did some digging and couldn't find anything to where the Beatles themselves ever released the song. I hope this is the song you were looking for. :-)


and I'm also gonna add this song....one of my faves over the years...

Graphics provided by MySpaceAnimations.com

Till Next Time................

Tuesday morning

and I'm sooooo tired.
I guess I was wishing and hoping too much for another good nights sleep, I must have jinxed myself.
About 2:45 this morning...I was starting to stir...legs started bothering me and I was feeling the urge that I had to pee... when I start stirring around, my dog wakes up too. I layed here in bed trying to go back to sleep but then the next thing I know...I have this cold, wet nose in my face...(no, not my wife's either) and the dog starts doing her quiet, inside bark. She wanted to get up to pee also. It's now 3:00am.

So....My turn was first to go potty....and then we went downstairs and I let Sophie out. I'm not sure what it was that she was smelling, but she must have caught wind of some critter. She was all over the yard and was outside for almost 15 minutes before I could get her back in.

We head back up to bed and the first thing Sophie does is hop up on the bed...(picture this..she is an 85lb. Black Lab) and crawls up on my pillow and she lays down. So, I sit on the edge of the bed...and I'm telling Sophie...she better scoot over. No response. I try to shove her over a bit.... HAH.. Have you ever tried to move an 85lb dead weight anything..? Hard enough to do without compounding it with balance issues and all.
So, I sit back down on the bed...my wife is stirring now...I'm thinking..Ohh geez..
forget it.
I throw my sweats on and my shoes...and my wife rolls over and says.."what the hell are you doing, it's 2:30..?"
I say.."No it's not, it's after 3:00..I'm going downstairs so at least you can get some sleep"
I called Sophie..."Sophie come on, lets go downstairs and have a cookie (doggy treat)" She pops up and she's at the bedroom door ready to go.

We go downstairs, I get her the doggy treat and we both crawl on the couch and she beats me going back to sleep. I'm sitting there on the couch trying to get comfortable because of the pain I have in my ass...literally. I shift from side to side multiple times..and finally find a decent spot. I rest my head back and finally..I guess I fell asleep. I wake to an annoying pain through my tailbone and top of the back of my legs, like the skin is ripping apart. It's now about 4:15am.
AAAAaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

So, if it's not me waking because I have to pee, It's my legs or it's the dog or it's something...and once I'm up now...It is a struggle to go back to sleep...so I normally stay up and now it's about 10:00am and I am winding down fast...as soon as I finish this update...I'm thinking nap time.

Anyway, I posted the videos yesterday...and put out the challenge...or request or whatever you want to call it.. That I'll take music requests and if I can find them, I'll post them. Well, thanks to my Sis...god love her...she took me up on that. She made a couple of requests... so don't shoot the messenger when you see what we have today.. (just kidding Donna...I very vividly remember watching these folks on TV when I was a youngster..and liking them too.. :-) )

We have for your listening and viewing pleasure today...Sonny and Cher... and also Tony Orlando and Dawn.



and how about one more for good luck.. Another song from the Wayback machine..
Joe South.. The Games People Play.


Two days until Thanksgiving.....I can smell it now...

Animations provided by MySpaceAnimations.com

Remember everyone..I take requests...and pretty soon we'll be featuring Christmas music here. Ho Ho Ho

Well....time for a snooze..

Till Next Time......

Monday afternoon

Well...not much to post this afternoon.
I had PT today and it went well. Did alot of work on the treadmill. Trying to get my endurance up. Did a few sessions of walking forward and then sideways..side stepping.
I can make it about 2:30 to 3 minutes each time before pooping out.

I'm scheduled for another re-evaluation so it will be interesting to see how that goes. I know I've made some progress but I still have so many issues with balance and stamina. Also, this damn heel is making me nuts. The steroids I've been on for the heel are playing hell with me. My stomach's not been right, they make me get overheated easier than I did before and they make me all jittery. Thankfully, only three more days of them.

I did get a good nights sleep last night. That was a pleasant surprise..seems like everything was in my corner last night, no leg pain, I wasn't overheated and I was very comfortable. I slept in until almost 7:30am. That hasn't happened in awhile. My wife even came up to check to make sure I was going to get up and go to PT.

So, got home from PT and ooohhhh...the smells...Mom in Law had been busy baking banana nut bread and cranberry bread..
I could have gone and sat in the corner and scarfed down all 5 loaves that she baked.
Thanksgiving is only three days away...I can't wait. I want Pumpkin Pie.....MMMmmm

Well...right off, I can't think of much more to write at the moment, but then again...between the meds and TM...I forget stuff all the time. I'm always finding myself trying to remember certain words for something and various other things. Oh well..

For the music of the day...I found something kinda funny....
I watched the wonderful old spaghetti western "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" a few days ago...and I've always loved the theme song to it.
Well, I'll be darned...there is a video of Ennio Morricone conducting that song with full orchestration...
It actually is very cool to watch..


and I'm posting this one for no other reason than I just heard it and it's a great song...A band called Sugarloaf. They were based in Denver and named for a mountain outside of Boulder Colorado.
In 1970 they released this song....Green Eyed Lady..


Ohhh...Sis..I'm glad you liked my last music postings....
Remember everyone.....I'll take requests..as long as I can find them I'll post them.

Till Next Time

Happy Thanksgiving Animations provided by MySpaceGraphicsandAnimations.net

Sunday Morning

and I was up at 4:00am. Why, legs were bothering me and I had to pee...and I was overheated...sweating.
Lately, I've taken to going to bed with just my robe on...and I stick my feet under the blankets.. For the last few nights this has worked to keep me from getting too hot at night. This morning I was too hot. Now, this could be because of the steroids that I'm on..(I'll explain in a bit)
I woke up this morning about 3:45 and I was sweating...I could hear the furnace running..It was and still is rather cold outside...(18 degrees right now @ 9:45am) I opened my robe to get some air...and wiped my forehead..I was drenched.

I had that appointment at the VA on Friday for my right heel. The doc prescribed those steroids for me. I started taking them yesterday. It is a six day course of steroids..the first day (yesterday)I had to take two before breakfast, one ofter lunch, one after dinner and two at bedtime.
Well, first of all, they made me tired, they made stomach feel like sh*t, I was soo overheated yesterday, and just generally felt like crap.
Today I get to take two before breakfast which I have...and I'm already overheated and groggy..(of course getting up at 4:00am didn't help)one after lunch, one after dinner and one before bed.
We'll see how today goes.

Otherwise....lately, the pain in my backside...tailbone area and tops of the backs of my legs seems to be bothering me a bit more...I have a hard time sitting in one position for any length of time..I have to shift back and forth from one side of my butt to the other more often than before. I don't know what that's all about.

It seems like everyday it's something else that's going on.... I'm so exhausted.

So, with that said....here is a song related to the day of the week...a very odd, lost in the times past, one hit wonder song. A british singer that went by the name of Daniel Boone did a song back in 1972 called Beautiful Sunday. I'm posting this because it looks very beautiful outside right now..the sun is shining and glistening off of the snow on the tree branches.


Whew...Bubblegum pop at it best..(???)

Nah...here is more...
1910 Fruitgum Company.. who remembers them..? I'm embarrassed to admit..I used to have this album.


and one more that I just ran across.....
and this one actually was pretty cool..
The Royal Guardsmen Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron


Thanksgiving is four days away.....I can't wait.

Till Next Time..................

Let's throw in another post this week...

Friday...
I had an appointment at the VA today. I called and made the appointment about two weeks ago. The appointment was with the orthopedic doctor.
I had mentioned before that the bottom of my right heel has been bothering me. It stems from the fact that now, with the way I have to stand and walk, all of my weight is on my right heel. Since I have very little muscle strength in my legs and feet and the muscles that you use to walk and balance, my weight is not spread throughout the bottom of my feet, just my heel.

I had seen the foot doctor before...and she ordered a prosthetics specialist to come in and take measurements for my feet for special orthopedic shoes and a ankle/foot brace for my left foot. I was supposed to get a letter in the mail informing me of the time and date of the appointment. Well, over a month has gone by and still no appointment.

So, I called the Ortho doctor and set this appointment today. Since the last time I saw her, the bottom of my right heel has gone entirely numb and every now and then I get an incredibly sharp pain that shoots right through my heel. The bottom of my heal also is in constant pain, if that makes sense. Especially if I am barefoot and standing on a hard floor surface.

So, today she apologizes about the prosthetic appointment, she's not sure what happened. She rescheduled that and also gave me those gel heel cups to try in my shoes. She also had me have an X-ray of my heel just in case there was something else, but from what I am explaining, she is almost certain it is nerve damage. She explained that there are two major nerves that run through the heel of the foot.

The heel cup does make things feel better and she also prescribed the 6 day course of steroids (Methylprednisolone) to see if that might help with any inflammation that I may have around the nerves in my heel. So...oh boy, I get to take more pills now...I guess I'll suck it up if it helps my heel feel better.

Well, that's my latest gripe, complaint, moan, groan, bitch...etc...thanks to TM. Gotta love it....there's always something.


Six days until Thanksgiving... My wife has gotten a bit of the Thanksgiving shopping done...got the turkey and some of the other Thanksgiving things....
MMmmmmm I can't wait. I loooooovvvvveeeee the Turkey and potatoes and gravy and stuffing and veggies and pies and cookies and......and.....and....all of it.. *smack*

Even though the weather is a bit of an issue with the TM...I still love this time of year...yeah, the snow can be a pain and yeah, the cold can too...but with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up...I love those holidays...I love the smells that are associated with those holidays...the cooking, the smell of hot chocolate, the scented candles, the wood burning in the fireplace...all of that.. I love the coziness I feel on a cold winter night and I'm hunkered down in bed nice and warm.

Anyway....here's a humorous Turkey Day joke..


Now, How about some Steamer Lane Breakdown....a little bit of country/bluegrass/rock from The Doobie Brothers... yeeehaaawwww


Till Next Time............

Well........It's Thursday

and I usually would be updating today after my PT appointment.
I'm updating...but not because I had my PT today. I called off.. Long story short...by 7:00am I had screwed both mine and my wife's day up. No details other than to say...I wish I were the old me. The new me is a real ass sometimes.

With that aside...I have nothing to add to the post today. I've had no new progress, revelations...nothing. I still hobble around like the cripple I am.

The weather here is starting to suck...we had that little bit of snow on Monday that I posted about...and well, It has snowed everyday since then. We only have about 3 or 4 inches right now but there is more projected over the next couple of days. Temperature wise..low 30's for the high.... hmm..winter is pretty much here. Dark, dreary, cold snowy winter.

Well, at least Thanksgiving is one week from today. Gobble..Gobble




C'est la vie... Till Next Time...

Monday.............

Well....not a whole lot to update about today..
The last couple of days this cold weather has been playing havoc with my legs. They are very achy and feel like lead weights. They have also been very tight. I have been doing some stretches here at home but it just doesn't cut it.

I had PT today...Cindie did the E-zap on me...that always feels good in a weird sort of Frankensteinish way. When I get hooked up to the machine I always think about the movie "Young Frankenstein" and Gene Wilder hollering.."He's Alive..He's Alive"
After the E-zap...I told Cindie I needed her to stretch me good...so she did....oh boy did she.. Cindie stretched me extra long today..and she could tell that I was very tight. Between the achy leg pain I have and the pain of her stretching my legs...I was about brought to tears.
After the stretching was over I laid on the bench for probably 5 minutes recovering from my lightheadedness.

Over to the treadmill next..Cindie had me do just normal straight walking forward to concentrate on stepping down with my heal first and then the toes and she timed it to see how long it was before I started stepping flat footed. I did 3 sets like that and was only able to walk about a minute and a half before the flat footedness started. The next thing I know...my session is over.. Today seemed to go quick but like I said...she stretched me extra long today.

I also wanted to mention...while I was having the e-stim done...Cindie told me that Lora, my TM friend (she is the other TM'r I met while in the hospital..amazing, two of us right here in the same town) was also there down the hall doing OT.
Lora stopped by and saw me while I was getting zapped. We chatted for a bit..it was great to see her and she looks like she's doing pretty well considering. Lora is a para..from the waist down. But she has no pain, no fatigue, none of the banding. Her only TM symptoms are the waist down paralysis and the bowel and bladder. She is rather unique in her TM symptoms...but from what I read..each of us is very unique in our symptoms. It also looks like hers and my PT days will be the same and pretty close on the time so we should be able to see each other fairly often..so we can see how each other is doing.

Otherwise...the little "episode" of being sick last week...is over and it wasn't near as bad as a couple of the past ones. I still can figure no correlation between anything at all that is triggering it to happen. Whatever it is though..is pissing me off. I get so tired of dealing with the TM symptoms and then to have that "episode" come up...the headaches...the tiredness, the diarrhea etc... it's just too much.

My last post...it looked like we were going to be in for a bit of a storm..and then like 3 hours later...the weather front just kind of fell apart. Well, yesterday (Sunday) we did get a bit of snow...and for awhile it was coming down pretty hard..
Now...Mom..I know we didn't get it like you guys did there in Erie... but we did get a bit of snow...
pictures...



So...with that...it's still chilly outside...no more snow for now...tomorrow is another story though.

I leave you with this....
released 40 years ago this month....

and one of the greatest hit songs from 1978.....


Till Next Time.............

Real quick post

and then I'm hunkering down for the night...
We have a bad one coming in...



***Edit...
looks like we lucked out....


Till Next Time.....

Okay...Friday morning

Time to update...and today is my 6 month TM anniversary...woohoo..!!

I have to back up a couple of days here..My last update was Tuesday, Veterans Day...and it was a somber day for me...although I had a great time at my nephews school.
Tuesday evening..I started not feeling to well...I've mentioned before that I get these episodes where I start getting sick..I get a headache, feel crappy, diarrhea...etc.. The thing is...every time in the past..it always started on a Friday or Saturday. Well, it appears that I've broken that cycle. This time it starts on a Tuesday evening.
I also mentioned before, that I spoke to my Neuro about this..and he thought maybe migraines...so he prescribed Imatrex. Well, I took an Imatrex Tuesday night...and it did nothing. I took one Wednesday morning...it did nothing.
Wednesday was a brutal day for me..mentally.. I was still in a very depressed mood from Veterans Day...and not feeling well certainly wasn't helping...Wednesday was a bad, bad day mentally.
So, Wednesday night I'm thinking about my PT session on Thursday...I figured...if I still felt as bad Thursday morning as I did Wednesday night then I'm not doing PT.
Well, with as bad as I was feeling I didn't sleep for crap....I rolled back and forth all night long...

Thursday morning I still felt like crap. I called off of PT. I was also scheduled for two appts at the VA clinic Thursday afternoon...one was my mental health session and the other was just a follow up with the Psychiatrist to check on my meds. The VA called and they had to cancel the Psychiatrist appt..the doc was sick.
So, by the afternoon..I was feeling well enough to make my mental health appt..which I'm glad I had and went to. If not for anything else..just to try and bring me back to reality and help get me out of the funk I was in.
The rest of Thursday wasn't bad...I started feeling a bit better...although the headache was still hanging on..I didn't have any other "problems" during the day.

I slept fairly well last night..I don't remember waking very often.. and I feel pretty decent this morning..with a very slight headache.. Lets hope the rest of the day gets better.

I don't like it when I wait for three days to update, especially when I've had some events happen. I struggle to try and remember some of the stuff I want to update..
That was one of my goals with this blog was to be able to update friends and family but also to have a record of things as they happen. The cognitive effects of TM play hell with me sometimes.. Some days are good..I remember things I want to remember, other days...forget it. My therapist suggested carrying a small note pad...and jot stuff as I need to.. hmmm..

Anyway.....I'm signing off for now...I have some e-mails to catch up on.. These last couple of days of being in this funk I have neglected answering any notes..so I must do that.

To close...a song about Friday..
From "The Cure"... a little bit of my taste for the pop/goth/punk music..
"Friday I'm in Love"
and you just gotta love Robert Smiths hairdo..


and one other song...from the Motown/Soul/R&B era of the early 70's...this was actually a genre of music classified as "psychedelic soul"
This is a song written by the greats.."The Temptations" called "Smiling Faces Sometimes".
BUT...this is a version of the song done by a group called "The Undisputed Truth" and your going to love the stage makeup..
this song still brings chills to me...it is soooo awesome...


Till Next Time........ :-) <---smiling face.. lol

Tuesday....

Veterans Day.. First..A thanks goes out to all those vets out there, those of us that have served, those that are currently serving and those that gave the ultimate sacrifice...I honor you all..

I woke up this morning in a very somber mood...I dreamt about the bridge all night..That still hurts that it is gone. I've been reading many message boards all over the internet today and the consensus is the same...the people that knew the bridge all loved it..everyone is totally upset.. It is such a shame.

Today is Veterans Day...another reason to be somber...It is a day to honor and celebrate our vets..in some circumstances it should be kind of a happy day..and I did have a very happy moment today. My nephew invited me to his school for "Take A Vet To School Day" to celebrate Veterans Day. I couldn't pass up this chance either as I had gone to my grandsons school last week.

So, the school, in conjunction with Time Warner Cable (our local cable TV provider) and the History Channel they put on a wonderful assembly.


Nice T-Shirts we recieved..

It was very touching..and after the assembly we got to go to the classroom of the child that invited us there. So, there was myself and female vet that had been in the Army.

The class had prepared a number of questions that they asked us. I also took my shadow box which of course garnered quite a bit of attention. The kids were great with some of the questions they had..it truly was a wonderful day.


I unfortunately, am still in a very somber mood.

As far as the TM..well, I help up pretty good...I had jeans on again..so I was having that tingling pain again...and after the assembly was over, I was very tired. When we got home I laid down and took a nap for awhile. It's now 4:30pm, I have a headache...I'm still tired.
This is enough for now.

*****This is an edit of this post...because I screwed up...Just for the record...I am posting this edit on Wednesday 12 November...When I did my post yesterday I was very tired, had a headache and was starting to not feel very well.

Well...lo and behold, I think I am getting "sick" again. I still have the headache and now diarrhea and just feel like crap.
But, I meant to post something else yesterday, having to do with Veterans Day. I am posting it now...
This is a video of Arlo Guthrie...many of you might remember him...the son of late, great Woody Guthrie, an American folk hero as is Arlo in his own way. Arlo had many great songs over the years. He was also known as a bit of an anti-war activist but Arlo wrote a song that was mostly forgotten over the years. That is, until the U.S. entered this war that we're currently in. This song was written for our soldiers and how they were mostly forgotten about when they returned home from war..
Fortunately, that isn't the case any more....

Here are the words...
Halfway around the world tonight
In a strange and foreign land
A soldier packs his memories
As he leaves Afghanistan
And back home they don't know too much
There's just no way to tell
I guess you had to be there
For to know that war was hell

Chorus:
And there won't be any victory parades
For those that's coming back
They'll fly them in at midnight
And unload the body sacks
And the living will be walking down
A long and lonely road
Because nobody seems to care these days
When a soldier makes it home

They'll say it wasn't easy
Just another job well done
As the government in Kabul falls
To the sounds of rebel guns
And the faces of the comrades
Being blown out of the sky
Leaves you bitter with the feeling
That they didn't have to die

Chorus

Halfway around the world tonight
In a strange and foreign land
A soldier unpacks memories
That he saved from Vietnam
Back home they didn't know too much
There was just no way to tell
I guess you had to be there
For to know that war was hell

And there wasn't any big parades
For those that made it back
They flew them in at midnight
And unloaded all the sacks
And the living were left walking down
A long and lonely road
Because nobody seemed to care back then
When a soldier made it home

The night is coming quickly
And the stars are on their way
As I stare into the evening
Looking for the words to say
That I saw the lonely soldier
Just a boy that's far from home
And I saw that I was just like him
While upon this earth I roam

And there may not be any big parades
If I ever make it back
As I come home under cover
Through a world that can't keep track
Of the heroes who have fallen
Let alone the ones who won't
Which is why nobody seems to care
When a soldier makes it home

**********and dammit...a double edit.
I just had to also include this video...My TM friend Heather in Calgary, Alberta, Canada sent this to me...this is by a Canadian artist, Terry Kelly.
I think the video speaks for itself...please watch it.


Till Next Time..............

Quick post tonight

I just had to post this...I was reading my Facebook just a bit ago...and I saw a posting from my cousin Mandi.
She posted something off of the Erie.com website..which is the online paper from Erie, PA...which is my hometown.
This is a sad article...at least to me it is... I had just written a halloween story right before halloween and the story was about the Gudgeonville Bridge..the old covered bridge just outside of Erie.


The article I read told of the bridge being torched by arsonists...
Bastards.....what the hell is wrong with people sometimes...

This just saddens me to no end...this bridge was an icon...one of the last covered bridges in PA.
Everyone I knew loved that bridge and had a story or two of the bridge and the surrounding area...stories of our youth..girlfriends that had been taken out there for picnics...friends riding their motorcycles out to the bridge and forging through Elk Creek...days spent there wading up and down the creek with nothing in particular in mind... That bridge was part of all of that and those memories..
I hope the idiots that did this fry... Karma will not be on their side...
I am so sad.

Monday PT day

...Had PT today....I wasn't feeling too bad..had a pretty fair sleep last night...the biggest thing was this morning when I woke up. My head and back were drenched from sweat..I was hot. Funny thing is...the bedroom window is open about 3 inches and it's pretty cold outside..about 30 degrees. On the other hand, my wife woke up early this morning because she was freezing.. Ayy...what are we going to do..? I sweat at night and she is freezing...

So, went to PT. Last Thursday, Cindie my therapist asked me about walking all the way up to therapy. I was pretty hesitant about it on Thursday...but over the weekend I thought about and figured if I don't push and challenge myself then recovery will take longer and be worse. So, today we get to the hospital and usually one of the volunteers comes out to the car with a wheelchair and my wife wheels me up to PT. Today I passed on the wheelchair....

PT is on the 4th floor..so from the front door of the hospital to the elevator is probably about 500 feet. Then out of the elevator on the 4th floor to the PT area is another 500 feet or so. Well, going up wasn't bad...of course I was fresh...but I did have to stop and rest a couple of times on the way.

Did my PT session and as usual, I was pretty tired out...so Cindie asked me if I wanted her to call up a wheelchair. i told her no..I'll be fine..I can make it but I may have to rest a couple of times...Cindie asked me three times if I wanted a wheelchair...and I kept telling her NO..

Well, let me tell you...that walk back down to the front door, was the longest friggen walk I have ever taken...!!
My god..I was sweating, panting like a damn dog and getting all light headed. As soon as we got to the front door, my wife gave the valet our ticket for the car and while we were waiting for the car to come I had to step outside..now remember, it's 30 degrees outside and I stepped out in a t-shirt to cool off. My heart rate didn't come back down to normal until we were about a block from home..(15 minute drive)
So, needless to say...that is one time that my stubbornness kicked me in the butt.

I'm sweating now just thinking about this.............
Never again....I'll swallow my pride and put a damper on my stubbornness...as hard as it may be.

I did realize today...yes, I've made some progress...but I have a good ways to go yet.. ahhh..it just takes more time... Time...it's a 4 letter word...This is so frustrating.

Time....that makes me think of a song from the Chambers Brothers... Time Has Come Today.. This takes us back to the 60's and the "Psychedelic" era.. If you listen to this song..prepare for the ride...because it will take you through a 22 minute ride of your life.. :-)


and since I'm already back in the late 60's and the "Psychedelic" era I'm gonna do one more...
I chose this one because with the weather getting colder outside...we can wish for a Hot Summer Day..
The band.."It's a Beautiful Day".. the song.."Hot Summer Day"


So...
Till Next Time............

Saturday evening

and I'm posting...not sure why...but I figured a quick one would do..

One thing to update...my foot..or toe more specifically.. as long as I have a shoe on, my toe feels okay. I guess it's the support.
I took another picture of it today..it's weird..the bruising is moving across my foot..towards my big toe..


I have no idea why the bruising is doing that...but oh well...
One other thing I mentioned a while back...I was supposed to be going into the VA to get fitted for orthopedic shoes because my right heel has been bothering me. It is because of the way I have to stand now..all my weight is placed right on my heels and my right heel is getting real sore..and getting kind of numb. I haven't heard back from the VA yet so I am going to call Monday I think and see what's up. I can't deal with this much longer.

Well...a short post tonight...
How about some music..?

One of my fave bands...Little Feat..


and then this video... this is a particularly touching song. The original was touching as it was..the song.. Vincent from Don McLean.
This version with Don singing and the amazing Chet Atkins on his guitar.
This will bring a tear to your eye..


Till Next Time................

Friday

I have to post today...I am tired but so happy...
A few days ago my 5 year old grandson informed me that there was going to be a Veterans Day celebration at his school and Veterans were invited to come and bring memorabilia to show the kids and the school was going to serve breakfast and then have an assembly.
Well, my wife and I got there...breakfast was scrambled eggs, sausage and biscuits...
But what the school did for the assembly was awesome. First, for the vets..they had a list of all of us...and the principal of the school called us by name, one at a time and also said the branch of service. As each name was called we would walk up to the center of the assembly room and then stood side by side with all the vets.
After that we sat down and many of the classes had put together some little skits and various things to thank the vets...and the band teacher at the school played the theme song of each branch of the military, on a trumpet.
We also had a moment of silence to give our respect for those lost, while the band teacher played Taps... This brought a tear to my eyes...

I also had a chance to speak to my grandsons kindergarten class and show some pictures I had, some squadron patches I had and my shadowbox from when I retired. It was cute watching them look at everything. I know that most of this was probably beyond their understanding but I think they enjoyed seeing everything.

Anyway, this was only about a 2 1/2 hour adventure from the time we got there until we left...and I am beat. I know that some of it has to do with the emotions...I am so proud to have served my country but I am more proud of those that have served with me and even though it is very sad, I am the proudest of those that gave the ultimate sacrifice for what they believed in. Days like Veterans Day mean so much to me..

Now, how did the TM play into this...well first, I wore jeans today because I thought I should look presentable in my grandsons school. The first time I've put jeans on since 14 May. It's interesting because I've read many instances of others that are bothered by their clothes or certain touches in places. How those sensations hurt or are very irritating.
I discovered what they meant today...I couldn't wait to get those jeans off. I don't know if it was the fabric, the weight of the fabric or what...but my butt and the tops of the backs of my legs felt like they were on fire while I had those jeans on.
I usually wear sweats and they don't bother me as bad..I guess because the fabric is a lot softer..
I also had to do a bit of walking around inside the school which was tiring...
Add all this to the fact that I woke up at 4:00am because my legs were bothering me... I'm bushed right now..
But that Veterans Day Celebration was wonderful and I am so glad I went.

I also get to go to another one this coming Tuesday for my nephew..hopefully I get a good nights sleep the night before.

Quick update on the toe...it feels better, it's still somewhat sore but it is getting better, although if I bump it..it reminds me that I just broke it...

I'm gonna nap for a bit...but before I do that...a couple of tunes for ya..
Some blues... Ya gotta love them blues..

The first... a couple of legendary bluesmen..Buddy Guy and Junior Wells


and this vid...from someone that you probably haven't heard of but he is one of the premier bluesmen that there ever was...
Walter Trout...


Enjoy..!!

Till Next Time....................

Thursday

and I'll do a bit of an update today..
Of course I had PT today...No e-stim today...the machine was acting up...Cindie said maybe we should not try the e-stim...she didn't want to chance shocking me.. heh.. I thanked her for that..lol

Cindie had me go for a lengthy walk...one of my goals is a 2000 foot walk with just the cane and without having to stop for a break.. well, I gotta tell ya...I made it just over the halfway mark and I was exhausted...and then that set the tone for the rest of PT...I wasn't doing anything too strenuous, it is just the fact that the activities that I have to do are tough to do because of my fatigue issues... and once I get winded doing one exercise...I recover to a certain point but each exercise wears me down that much more.. ..I'm rambling.. My point is that when PT was over, I was wiped out.

I also had to have an MRI today. My neuro wanted me to have one more MRI on my brain (to make sure I still have one..jk) to make sure there aren't any lesions that he needs to be worried about. He wanted to be able to rule out MS completely. My MRI was scheduled right after PT so when I went in the MRI tube...I got to nap a little... MRI's don't bother me anyway but today was a very relaxing one.

I have lately been trying to keep my focus off of myself...and my pains and spasms and all the other mess...and try and refocus on things that keep my mind busy...
Here's what I've been doing...about a month ago, I was invited by someone else that I have corresponded with, that has TM, to join a new TM support networking site...and I did join.
It was a site that was started by a guy in Georgia that has TM and he is a veteran of the Army. I liked that fact because we already had two things in common.. Well, membership of the site was fairly low at the beginning but it has grown since and continues to grow practically every day.
The owner of the site and myself, chatted a few times and hit it off..and he decided to make me an administrator of the website which basically means that I am able to "Manage" the site..to add things beneficial to the site and the members, change the format...etc..

What I have taken on to keep my mind busy is to compile as many websites, videos and as much information about TM as I can possibly find. To compile support group websites and basically anything at all that the members of the group could find useful. I am adding all of this to a TM Resource page on the website so that any member will be able to find any bit of information or support group or anything that is available that references TM. I feel that when I am done, it will be the most comprehensive resource page available for us TMr's.
Surprisingly, as rare as TM is, there is alot of information available on the internet...which is making this a bit of a challenging undertaking...but that's okay... It keeps my mind off of the "pain in my ass" (literally..I have incredible pain in my tailbone, butt cheeks and tops of the backs of my legs) that I have..

If anyone wants to check out the website..here's the link.. http://transversemyelitis.ning.com/

So, on a final note today...one more AC/DC vid... and again...CRANK IT UP.....!!!!!!



Till Next Time................

Wednesday

update....
Okay.....Let's see..Monday I had PT...things were a little touchy because of the toe...but overall..not too bad. My sneakers gave it some support and I also had the toe wrapped in some gauze and taped to the next toe. It was sore...but PT wasn't too bothersome...only a couple of times did it really smart. So, that was good...

Today, the toe feels better...it is the 4th day now since it happened, the swelling has gone down and even some of the pretty colors are going away. I did kind of bump it yesterday while putting on my show...and it felt like lightning shooting through my toe...so it's still sensitive.. but at least now it's not as sore as it was.

I was up early yesterday morning (4:00am) because my legs were really bothering me...I was having that throbbing, achy pain that I get now and then. I still think that this cooler weather has to be playing hell with me..because there are things bothering me more now than they were before...mainly in my legs and the "numb" area in my backside.
This morning I was up at 2:30am to pee and then I went back to bed and was able to fall back to sleep...but at 6:00am I was awake again with my legs..

Yesterday, I was reading through my emails...and I'm subscribed to the Transverse Myelitis Internet Club (TMIC) which is an email support group branched off of the Transverse Myelitis Association website.
I read one of the posts yesterday and it was so emotional that I just broke down... I'm including part of the post here...with no names...

"We are now spending a few days in xxcityxx before returning to our home in xxstatexx. Today we met a lady named xxxx, and when we were talking she asked if I had an accident since I was using the wheelchair. I have had a lot of spasms the past few days and not walking very well, even with my crutches. Anyway, when my husband told her that I hadn't had an accident but that it was caused by a virus, she immediately asked if I had Transverse Myelitis. When I said YES, her eyes welled up with tears. It was a real intense moment. Her father had gotten TM and it was a slowly progressing onset for him, and he had a very hard time getting a diagnosis. They thought he had Guillian-Barre (sp?). It took one and a half years to get the TM diagnosis, and he was in excruciating pain. Unfortunately, he just couldn't deal with it, the pain made him crazy. He didn't want to get involved with any support groups either and wouldn't go onto anti-depressants. He was one of the unlucky ones who didn't get any improvement. He ended up committing suicide to end his pain. This was a real bonding moment for the 3 of us.

I can't tell you how much pain this woman and her family had gone through due to this. She's better now, but she says that her brother is still really a mess."

I just wanted to include that because I feel so bad for that woman and her family... I think maybe I can somewhat understand the turmoil her father must have been going through...only because I've seen what a bastard TM can be...
Sometimes the mental issues can surpass the physical ones...and I think I can also understand that...

I try, try, try to stay happy and upbeat and positive… I’ve always been a very positive person….but the weight of all this is so hard to swallow sometimes….
I feel bad for my wife, because she has to put up with my tirades. It seems that almost everything, not just the TM, but everyday stuff just pisses me off sometimes and she gets angry or upset at me, understandably.
Sometimes I get that overall depressed feeling and I’ll just start crying… I know that I’m not the only one that has dealt with TM like this…I’ve read many other postings from people that are affected in much the same way as I am…and I know that we all have different ways of dealing with this. I just want so bad to get my head back on straight again. Hopefully through my counseling and the meds I’m on that I will be able to do that.

So, here’s my attempt today at ending this blog posting on a happy positive note…
I’m including this song…one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite groups…AC/DC. The song…It’s a Long Way To The Top If You Want To Rock and Roll.

I can relate that to having TM…and if you watch this video…CRANK IT UP…!!! The only way to listen to it..!!



Till Next Time................

Sunday

and a real quick update...
I know I mentioned my broken toe yesterday...and that you all were lucky because my camera batteries were dead, well guess what... I got some fresh batteries in it..so I get to bless everyone with a picture of my toe...
I seem to suck at taking a picture though because it is blurry...but all the pretty colors still came through.. :-)


and just to give you an idea...when I first kicked my cane..(and it's really a long story about how it exactly came about) and my toe started throbbing..I looked down at it and I knew right away it was broken...how did I know? Because I've never seen my little toe pointing in the direction it was pointing... here is a bad example..

When I saw my toe pointing in that direction..I just knew..
So, I grabbed my toe and pulled it back as straight as I could..(yeah, it hurt) and I've had my toes taped together since...
I did manage to get my sneakers on today...by unlacing them almost all the way..and gently sliding my foot in...and then loosely tying it back up. I'm going to try PT tomorrow..and see how that goes..

I do have to say this...I've talked to so many people with TM that do not have any or very little sensation down their legs or in their feet..to the point of not even being able to feel hot or cold water... So, I suppose in a very odd way...I'm glad my toe hurts like a b*tch.. In so many ways I've been one of the "lucky" ones "from the beginning"...

and on that note....ELP...Lucky Man..



From The Beginning...



Till Next Time...............

Saturday..... in the park

I think it was the Fourth of July...
Oh wait...that's not right...That's a song by Chicago..Oh well...anyway, It is Saturday..but it's November 1st.
What to update today...well, the first thing, I need to back up to Thursday and write something more for my own memory than anything else..
Thursday was a blue day...down in the dumps...feeling sorry for myself and such.. I did PT as I mentioned in my Thursday post..but as the day wore on...I started getting one of "those" headaches. The one I get before I start getting sick as I had done 4 times in the past. The sick that always started on a Friday or Saturday.
When I spoke with my Neuro the last time I told him about getting sick like that and how it always started with a headache...so he prescribed Imatrex for me and said that possible the headaches might be migraines. I took an Imatrex Thursday evening and went to sleep about 9:00pm. Woke up yesterday and the headache was gone. I thought to myself..."good" and went all day yesterday with no headache.

Now, today, Saturday..I wake up and I have a slight headache and I'm thinking...dammit...so I just go about my morning...couple of cups of coffee and breakfast thinking that maybe the headache will go away. It's now almost 11:00am and I still have it.. so I took another Imatrex. I'm bound and determined to not get sick again...and especially on a Friday or Saturday...I'm going to break that cycle if it kills me. DAMMIT..

Anyway...this morning has been interesting besides the headache.. we have some tree guys here to cut down those trees that fell during the bad storm we had recently. So, mom in law opens the door to go out and meet them...and of course out goes the dog....not that the dog can't be trusted to be out without a leash on but she has habit of wandering and I also didn't want her out with the workmen and the chainsaws and equipment. So, I head downstairs and call her in.
She comes back in...no biggie.

About 10 minutes later...the door gets opened again and out goes the dog again...this time I'm a little perturbed...I head downstairs and I'm barefoot...I get the dog back in the house...and I'm heading back up the steps and I'm a little ticked...and I'm kind of rushing...and I end up kicking my cane with my right foot....more specifically..the little toe on my right foot...and soon as it happened the pain shot right up..I looked down at it and it was bent at a strange angle...so, I know I broke it. I'm looking at it now and it looks like a swollen little fat sausage...I'd take a picture but the batteries in my camera are dead...so you all are lucky.

So, here I lie right now...my little toe is throbbing, I'm fighting a headache with chainsaws going on in the back yard and I also have the typical TM pains that are acting up..(I wonder why)
THIS ISN'T STARTING OUT TO BE A VERY GOOD DAY.................................................

Let's try to get out of this funkkkkkk............ Back to Saturday In The Park..even though it's not July.. :-)


and one other video..I'm not sure what made me think of this one...but a quick little story behind this song..It's a Steve Miller tune...and I first heard it back in 1973. The album it's off of is a pretty obscure Steve Miller album that came out in 1970.
The song is "Good Morning" and I heard it on a very, very underground radio station that broadcasted from a tiny little radio station just outside of Erie PA. Every morning for a very long time the station (WMDI..and it's long gone) would play this song at 6:00am...It ended up kind of being my morning wake up anthem.. As I got older and I had joined the Air Force and had for many years forgotten about this album and song, I once again heard it somewhere and I started a hunt for the album..which had gone out of print many, many years prior..and one day while in Tech school at Chanute Air Force Base in Illinois...I went to a used album sale at a record store in Champaign Illinois and I'll be darned it I didn't find the album.. and still have it to this day. :-)
So, with that stupid little story out of the way...here is the song..


Till Next Time.....................