Saturday

update...
Well, hello everyone.....todays update I'll say....nothing too dramatic to report...
I didn't update yesterday for a couple of reasons...first...not really that much to update..second,I figured I'd wait until today because today (Saturday) is Valentines Day....not that there is a specific reason to wait for Valentines Day to update...
but thirdly, today is my 9 month anniversary of TM. Three quarters of a year...
Wow....I know it sounds cliche but it seems like forever. So much has occurred in the last 9 months...when I think about it I'm amazed at how things have gone. The ups, the downs..(mostly downs) that I and the rest of my family have gone through..
There have been days that I've put my wife through hell...there have also been days that I've put myself through hell...the mental torture sometimes was worse than the TM itself.

In the beginning I had a very positive attitude and I was gonna whip this thing..and I was gonna work my butt off and get all better..and so on and so on....and then the first couple months went by...and my spirit was being beaten down...not only by my physical limitations but also my mental state. I had in the back of my mind that PT wasn't gonna do me any good...the meds weren't gonna help me....I was relegating myself to be a sorry old, self pitying SOB.

Well, I'll tell you now....I'm glad I'm over all that..!! Yeah, these past 9 months have been the roller coaster ride from hell....I like roller coasters...but this is one ride I never want to take again.
I don't know for sure what has gotten me through all of this...was it my own willingness and stubborness..? Was it the meds I'm on...? Was it the counseling..? Was it me not wanting to torture my family anymore..? Was it my wife's love and caring..? I'm really not sure..but I'm guessing it must be a combination of all of those..and either way....whatever it was...I'm glad.
Now, don't get me wrong..there are still days that are tough to get through.. but now..instead of dwelling on the past...I'm thinking about how I can make my future better. If for some reason, I can't return to a normal job...and there are still plenty of physical things going on that there is a good chance that may not happen...but, I know that I am still useful here around the house..there are still plenty of things that I can do..it may take me longer to do them, but I can still do them. I have some little hobbies that I enjoy...and I'm thinking and hoping that at some point I can turn that into something that may help contribute to the household...
So anyway, yeah....this past 9 months has seemed like a long time ago...yet it really hasn't. I look at the big picture now as far as my recovery...I was shuffling around with a walker for the first 2 or 3 months...but through my PT sessions...I've gained enough strength to start walking with a cane...and there are times I'm pretty unsteady...but instead of letting that bother me, now I laugh it off. It's funny sometimes when I'm at PT. Sometimes after a particularly rigorous session, when I go to stand up, I wobble a good bit. Cindie, my therapist jumps to grab me..she says I scare her sometimes. I laugh it off and tell her...nope, I'm fine...I just need to take a couple of steps and I get my momentum going. Cindie always worries about me when I do that though.

Well, that was a pretty reflective bit of running on I just did...wasn't it..?
If I have all this running through my head now at 9 months...geez...what's it going to be like at my one year anniversary..?

In a nutshell....I sure like the way I feel now, a lot better than I did a few months ago.
and as I write all this...there is a gentle snowfall going on outside... It's pretty.

Music time.....
No video today....I had to scrounge around to find this song....and use my minimal computer skills to get the HTML code for this so I could embed the song here...
I hope I'm not breaking any laws....too bad if I am ...I want to post this..
Van Morrison...and Bright Side of the Road...


Till Next Time......