A quick Wednesday night update

Some of the folks over on the Yahoo TM Support group website had started a recent thread about certain "I Hate" things about having TM..
Here are a few...
Not being able to jump up and start dancing to my favorite songs!

Not being independant - asking for help or having to pay for help for things I use to do myself! Yardwork, normal upkeep of house, gardening, housework, etc.!

Not being able to play with my dog! Actually get on the floor and play OR chase him around the yard let alone the house!

Not being able to help others!

Not being able to be very spontaneous, and "just do something" at the spur of the moment....

Sleeping a full night without waking up because rolling over, moving, having to get up multiple times (to either go to the bathroom, "think" you have to go to the bathroom, ) needing to take
more medication for the night than you did earlier because the earlier dose was thought "to be enough," and not being able to fall back asleep due to pain, etc., OR the fact that you're pretty
well "awake" from your trips to the bathroom, etc., because Lord knows we can't move about in the dark (balance issues) so every light in the house has to come on....

Being dogged tired during the day (because of above,) or, "just
because" because TM is "oh so much fun" on any given day....
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Just getting a few things off my chest about about this disease!!!
>
> I hate not being able to....
>
> not walk more than a few minutes with out feeling like I am going
to
> pass out...
>
> lay in bed and not feel like I am laying on an innertube...
>
> not pick up naything heavier than a cat...
>
> play any sports with my kids...
>
> just take one pill whenever I need it (a.k.a asprin)
>
> drive a car...
>
> feel my hands...
>
> make decisions on my own...
>
> take my dogs for a walk...
____________________________________________________________________
and now...here is what I posted...

Ohhh Boy...did you guys ever open a can of worms here...

As Candis said.. "Not being independent. ." BINGO.. Not being able to even go outside to pull weeds out of my flower garden because it is too friggen hot...

I hate not being able to play with or walk my dog... That is one that pisses me off alot..

I hate not being able to help others also.. I was used to being the one that always did everything.. fixed stuff around the house..ran errands when we needed something, making tea for my wife in the morning and bringing it upstairs to her.

I hate waking up in the middle of the night and moving as fast as possible to the bathroom because I think I felt like I have to have a bowel movement only to find out it's only gas. Now, to get back sleep....yeah right.

I hate going to bed and tossing and turning for hours because my legs are throbbing so bad that no matter which way I lie, it hurts.

I hate breaking out in a sweat just hobbling out to the mailbox to get the mail and the newspaper. Any further than the end of the driveway and my legs feel like rubber and start to give out.

I hate getting winded just taking a shower.

I hate when I walk without my AFO and my left foot drops and I stub my toes on the floor and IT FRIGGEN HURTS.

I hate having to find places to set my cane so that it doesn't fall over and so that it is in easy reach.

I hate taking medicine all the time. (I have never had to take a pill in my life, I've never even had so much as stitches)

I hate when people tell me "You Look Good" (trade bodies with me for a day.. ass)

I hate when I go to bed and I get so hot that I start sweating.

I hate the bizarre dreams I have been having..(I don't know if it's from the meds or what, but the dreams are WEIRD)

I hate that when I am tired and I walk, my left foot slaps down because I can't control it.

I hate the feeling I have on the back of my legs...it feels like my skin is ripping apart.
I also hate all the weird sensations I have through my legs and backside..

Now, I don't mind having to cath myself..( I wish I could pee normally though) but I do hate trying to cath myself at 3:00am when I am half asleep, have no balance to stand so I sway back and forth and I have this rubber cath hanging out of myself spraying pee everywhere.. . (I hope that wasn't too graphic..sorry. I know...I should probably learn how to sit down..huh..? )

I hate wearing diapers..!!

Until next time..