Today

is my 3 month anniversary of being admitted to the hospital and being diagnosed with TM. Wow..Happy Anniversary to me..

The last 3 months have been interesting to say the least..I look back at my first few days in the hospital and realizing that my entire life had just changed.. Getting to the bathroom was a chore even using a walker. I was in constant severe pain and the doctors were constantly coming in and checking my feet, my legs, my backside etc...to see where I had feeling and how much muscle strength I had..(which was almost totally non-existent)

At the time I really didn't realize how much fatigue would also go along with this because I was in bed all the time.. and on a steady diet of pain meds.. So I slept alot.

During all of the time in the hospital I knew that I was going to have to adapt to doing alot of things differently than I had before..simple things like rolling over in bed or even just getting out of bed. The simple basic things that we all take for granted were now a challenge.

Now, with the help of physical therapy I can walk with a cane..(although somewhat unstable sometimes because of the lack of balance still). I have regained some muscle strength in my legs and I have learned how to self catheter myself and have some sense of bowel control (although minimal at times). The pain is under control through the use of a couple of different pain meds and muscle relaxers which is also helping me with my physical therapy but also make me very tired all the time. The constant ache in my left leg is still there but under control to the point where I almost forget about it sometimes thanks to the pain meds :-)

I guess physically I have learned to adapt to quite a few different things now.. but one thing that I am still having serious issues with is the fatigue.. In physical therapy my therapist usually has me take a walk down the hall first thing since I am "fresh" and I probably get to about 75 feet and I have to turn around. By the time I get back to the exercise room I am tired out..and then doing three minutes at 1 MPH on the treadmill and I am sweating. I get to the exhausted stage and my left foot starts dragging and my left hip doesn't work right..my gait is totally screwed up because I am trying to compensate because of the tiredness.

I also find that stress is becoming a factor that makes me more tired also. It seems that I am finding that some of the physical stuff I can adapt to and I am making minor progress with it which I am happy about, but now I feel that some of the mental issues are more prevalent than they were at the beginning. It only goes without saying because before TM hit I was a gainfully employed person that enjoyed what he did and I was able to do things around the house that I enjoyed..(cutting the grass, working in the yard, little projects around the house such as simple things like changing a light bulb in the kitchen ceiling light) that I can't do at this time. Maybe in time I might be able to but right now I can't and it bothers me alot.

I am now unemployed and unsure of what my employability chances even are anymore..after all I'm a 50 year old disabled guy and even if I were to go to work my doc says I need to be in a wheel chair and can only do part time. Now, I do physical therapy three times a week and I am exhausted after that so where does that leave me for availability..? I need to find something I can do from home I suppose..
Anyone have any ideas..?
Well, I suppose that's enough for now...the weather is picking up outside..It's thundering..maybe I'll go watch the rain for awhile..
Till next time..